Dan: You can catch all that action
on "CSC On Campus With Stan Myers" coming up at the top of the hour.
And you won't want to miss championship billiards at 1:00 A.M.
Yoshira Yatsimura takes on Gr eta Lipsik
f or the 9-ball crown,
and when those two get together, it's a barn burner.
Casey: That's all for us.
I'm Casey McCall alongside Dan Rydell.
And if you've had half as much f un watching the show as we've had doing it,
well, then we've had twice as much f un doing the show
as you've had watching it. That's "Sports Night."
- See you tomorrow. - Good night.
- Music. - Go.
[ Up-tempo music plays ] - Roll cr edits. - Go.
We'r e out.
Nice show, everybody.
- What ar e you doing tonight? - Going to sleep.
- Come out with me. - Wher e?
El Perro Fumando.
- The Smoking Dog. - Yes.
Why?
If you wear something blue, you get two dollars off a giant blue margarita.
You know, I make a pr etty good living.
I can actually aff ord to wear what I want and pay f ull price.
I'm not promoting the economic upside as much as I am
the opportunity to drink something giant and blue.
I'm going to bed.
- Dana's coming. - Dana's coming?
And you know what that can lead to.
"Boogie Shoes."
'My, my, my, my, my boogie shoes...'
I'm in. Hey, Jer emy, we'r e going to this place called El Perro Fumando,
wher e, if, what, you wear a thing, then something else happens
- f or $2 less than it would've bef or e. - Come with us.
Her e's the thing - if Dana gets, like, half a margarita in her,
ther e's a better than even chance she'll get up on a table
and start dancing to "My Boogie Shoes."
I did it one time.
El Perro Fumando?
The Flaming Dog.
Smoking Dog.
Not The Flaming Dog?
The dog's not gay.
I wasn't suggesting the dog was gay.
I was suggesting the dog was on fir e.
He's not smoking on fir e. He's smoking a cigar ette.
- He's smoking a pipe. - He's smoking a cigar.
I say he's gay.
Come on out with us.
No, I'll catch up later.
Work's over, Jer emy.
It's time f or big, giant blue things at $2 off.
I just wanted to write a quick letter to my sister, Louise. She's a sophomor e at Amherst.
- You write letters? - I write to Louise.
That's nice. I haven't written a letter in years.
I do everything by phone now.
My sister can't hear.
Ah.... well, catch up with us when you'r e done.
And wear something blue.
You want me to stick around f or company?
- Me? - Yeah. I can stick around.
No, no, I've got everything - word processor, envelope.
- Okay... stamps? - Okay.
Oh, I actually don't have a stamp to speak of, but that's okay.
I've found that when I need a stamp,
one materializes.
I never know wher e one's gonna come f rom,
but they always do - stamps.
I haven't f ound that. I've f ound that when I need a stamp, ther e's never one around.
This was back when I used to write letters.
When I used to write letters, I could never find a stamp.
Hey. Can you guess what I'm thinking now?
That no one gives a damn about me and my history with stamps?
- Bull's-eye. - Mmm.
You'll come by later, though, right?
Sur e.
How do we know the dog is a he?
"El Perro" is masculine.
Sounds like Dana's translation has him leaning another way.
Jeremy: [ Thinking ] Dear Louise...
Dear Louise, it's a little after midnight on Thursday,
and I'm sitting in the middle
of the main newsroom at "Sports Night."
I can't even begin to describe how much I love this place.
I've only been here three months,
but it feels a lot like home to me.
Some of the guys asked me
to go out with them after the show tonight.
That's never happened before.
I'd kinda like to join them,
so I'm gonna make this a short one.
In your last letter, you asked me what Dan and Casey are like.
And I can't wait to tell you all about them in person,
but, for now, I'll just say
that as impressive as they are on the air,
the thing that constantly amazes me
is that the pressure of writing and performing
a live show every night never gets to them.
- What's going on? - Wher e have you been?
Well, I was in Editing. Kim said ther e was an emergency.
- It is an emergency. - Is it your mom?
- What's wrong with my mom? - I'm asking.
- It's not my mom. - Well, what is it?
- Why did you say it was my mom? - I didn't say it was your mom.
Yeah, but you jumped to that right away, which makes me think
ther e's something wrong with my mom, Casey. What's wrong with my mom, man?
Danny, Danny, I'm on deadline her e. Is ther e an emergency or not?
Yeah.
Well, what?
It's pr etty serious.
What?
I have writer's block.
You have writer's block?
I have writer's block.
- Emergency writer's block? - I'm telling you.
[ Sighs deeply ]
All right, how long?
A while now - about 20 minutes.
Just cool down. You'r e gripping, that's all.
Talk me through this.
Well, ar e you totally lost?
I'm totally lost, man.
I'm in the tall grass. I'm in the weeds!
All right, all right, listen to me.
We'r e the best, okay? The very best.
- Yeah? - Well, maybe not the best, but we'r e pr etty good.
- Right. - I put us easily into the top 30 or 40.
Okay, this isn't helping me.
- Hey, look at me. We've won awards. - Ah, you've won awards.
- You've won awards. - I haven't won awards.
You've been nominated f or awards.
- It's not the same. - Sure it is.
That's easy f or you to say - you've won awards.
Hey, look, we write the news. It's not like we'r e hurting f or story ideas.
- What's the problem? - I can't write.
I mean exactly what's the problem.
- Exactly? - Yeah.
I can't write!
- What ar e you working on? Red Wings/Flyers.
All right. Let me see.
[ Chair wheels rattling ]
"The Flyers played the Red Wings in a hockey game last night,
and they won f our to thr ee."
You see?
This is mor e serious than I thought.
Morning, gentlemen.
- Hey, Isaac. - Morning.
Jeremy: Isaac Jaffee is the managing editor of "Sports Night."
He's led a pretty remarkable life.
He started out as a stringer for the Atlanta Journal,
won a Pulitzer Prize for his coverage of the Gemini missions,
and retired as London bureau chief for CNN.
But his passion has always been sports.
Three years ago, when Luther Sachs bought Continental Corp.
and announced that he was starting a cable-sports division,
Isaac came out of retirement.
- Isaac. - Dana.
How ar e you this morning?
My 16-year-old daughter is dating a Republican in her class named Chad.
Chad's a 16-year-old Republican?
- That's right. - I didn't know 16-year-olds had party affiliations.
Chad was just elected pr esident
of the Connecticut Young Black Republican caucus.
He has a 3.9 GPA,
he is co-captain of the lacrosse team,
he plays the Fr ench horn,
and does volunteer work at a crisis hotline.
Sounds wonderf ul.
Dana, did you hear me? He's a Republican!
A lot of f olks ar e running in that dir ection these days, Isaac.
Yeah? Well, I don't want 'em sniffing around my women.
What ar e you gonna do?
What any r easonable man would do -
I'm calling a building contractor and installing a dungeon.
[ Laughs ]
- Ex cuse me, Isaac. - Good morning, Natalie.
Have you ever heard of someone named Archibald Russell?
- Archibald Russell? - Yeah.
Doesn't ring a bell.
- Okay. - Why?
Uh, Kelly Kirkpatrick just called in f rom Kansas City.
She was scanning, and she picked up a police report on a guy named Archibald Russell
who was carjacked this morning and beaten up pr etty bad.
She thought the name sounded f amiliar, and she asked me to ask you.
No.
- Rundown's in five minutes. - Okay.
What was I saying?
You wer e building a dungeon
to incarcerate any Republican suitors.
And a moat -
a big moat.
[ Indistinct talking ] Jeremy: There are four rundown meetings a day -
noon, 6:00, 8:00, and 10:00.
I'm sure that in no time I'll have forgotten about it,
but at the moment,
I can't stop thinking about the noon rundown a few weeks ago
and a guy you've never heard of named Archibald Russell.
[ Talking continues ]
Oh, by the way, Isaac? I got the 4-1 -1 on that man, Archibald Russell.
He was a pitcher with the old Kansas City Monarchs.
Archibald Russell?
Yep.
- Oh, good Lord. - What?
Archibald Russell was A.K. I knew him as A.K.
He was beaten up?
A.K. Russell?
He was carjacked this morning. They dragged him f rom his car.
- He's in surgery right now. - You know him?
Sur e, I know him. Sweetest man in the world. Terrific ballplayer.
Nobody noticed him
because he played on the same team as Gibson and Jackie.
Aw, hell, I gotta find his kids and call them.
We'll find them f or you.
Dana, do the story, would you? Somewher e up f ront.
Yeah. Jer emy, put together something
on an old Negro League pitcher named Archibald Russell.
He's in Mercy Hospital in Kansas City.
Yeah, it's no problem. But I don't know if we can fit it anywher e up f ront.
- Sur e we can. - No, we've got 4 top-25 games,
plus we'll probably have some word on Tyson,
and we'r e gonna want to put the Lakers/Knicks in the first 10.
- We'll do it anyway. - Well, I'm just saying, is there really room
f or a story with, at best, local inter est in Kansas City mayb-?
We'll put it up f ront, Isaac, right bef or e the first br eak.
- Thank you. - Back here at 2:00.
Jeremy: I felt terrible for suggesting that the story
lacked the importance to be placed in an early segment.
But as terrible as I felt then,
it was nothing compared to what I was gonna feel that night.
Dan: A disheartening road trip for the Miami Heat.
Said Pat Riley after the game,
"If you can't play defense, you can't play in the NBA." Casey?
Archibald "A.K." Russell
is probably not a name you'r e f amiliar with,
unless you wer e lucky enough to watch the Kansas City Monarchs
play baseball the way it was meant to be played.
He had 3 20-win seasons,
he's an associate pastor at the Berry Hill Baptist Church,
and, oh yeah, taught himself how to r ead and write.
He was driving the Cadillac Seville
that his 4 sons had given him f or his 80th birthday
when he stopped f or a r ed light this morning.
He was dragged f rom his car, beaten with sticks and bottles,
and left at the side of the road.
A.K.'s in critical condition in Mercy Hospital in Kansas City,
and the thoughts and prayers of everyone her e ar e with him.
We'll be back after this.
We'r e out.
2 1/2 minutes back.
Thank you.
Jeremy: And then Kim came in with the note.
[ Indistinct whispering ]
Chris... we'll need a graphic.
Yeah. Elliott, can you get me a year?
'17 - 1917.
Dan, Casey?
Guys, A.K. Russell was just pronounced dead.
- Okay? - [ Sighs ] Yeah, all right.
You got the graphic locked in?
Yeah.
Show it to me, please.
[ Keyboard clicks ]
We're back in two minutes.
[ Up-tempo instrumental music plays ]
You like it?
Casey: Yes.
Really?
It's very nice.
Elliott, ar e you telling me the ice clear ed, the goalies came out of the net,
and they just started going after each other?
Yeah, thr ew their gloves off and everything.
- I don't mean to harp on this, but you r eally like it? - What?
Yes. They thr ew their gloves off?
- Yes. - And we didn't have any film on this?
- Technically, it's just one glove. - How is it one glove?
- Goalies wear one glove and one catcher's mitt. - It's a first baseman's mitt.
- Catcher's! - First!
Oh, who gives a damn? We didn't get any film.
Casey?
Uh, would you please tell Dana her hair looks good.
- Your hair looks good. - Your hair looks good.
[ Chuckles ] Thank you.
Jeremy: Dana Whitaker is the ex ecutive producer
of "Sports Night," a great accomplishment for a woman her age.
She got her love of sports f rom her f ather and 6 brothers,
one of whom plays for the Denver Broncos.
She got her education f rom a series of ex clusive all-girls schools
that her mother insisted she attend
so that she wouldn't grow up to be like her f ather and 6 brothers.
The result is an irresistible combination of brilliance inside the office
and something a little less than brilliance anywhere outside of it.
Ex cuse me. Uh, uh, uh, uh, ooh!
[ Hinges cr eak ]
You don't like my hair at all.
Dana, I -
Casey! Gordon's taking me to Gracie Mansion tonight
f or a dinner with the mayor.
Exactly what consequence will bef all you
if the mayor is displeased with your hair?
- You don't think he's gonna like my hair? - Dana...
Casey... you want to talk in your office?
Why would I want to talk in my office?
I think you'r e having some Gordon issues.
I'm not having Gordon issues.
- You ar e. - I'm not.
- Little issues. - I'm r eally not.
Let's talk in your office.
Jeremy: The Casey-Dana saga is pretty much this -
Dana thinks that Casey's jealous of her relationship
with Gordon, her new boyf riend, which he is.
Casey claims he has no interest in Dana one way or the other, which he does.
Dana knows how Casey feels and does her best to be sensitive with him.
Do you f eel inf erior because he's a lawyer?
I don't f eel inf erior.
And if I f elt inf erior,
it wouldn't be because he's a lawyer.
Would it be because of his obvious physical prowess?
I r eally couldn't comment on his prowess.
Though God knows I could.
You think that I'm jealous of Gordon because he's a lawyer?
You have an envy of postgraduate degr ees - always have.
Do you have a sense of exactly what day you turned into a lunatic woman?
Gordon Gage - B.A., M.A., J.D.
He's got an M.A., too?
See ya!
By the way...
Read in the paper this morning about Sammy Galino.
You can't mention that.
- Really? - No, seriously,
Casey, when Gordon gets her e,
you can't make f un of the Sammy Galino thing.
I think I can.
Casey, he and his team worked f or 4 1/2 years
to build a case against Galino.
This would have been a huge blow to organized crime in Brooklyn and the whole city.
They worked 18-hour days. They wanted this - ther e is no comedy her e.
Sur e ther e is.
- What? - He lost!
Casey, when -
Dana, I work in a bottom-line business.
You win or you lose, and Deputy Gordon lost.
Please don't call him Deputy Gordon.
He hasn't made deputy?
He is the assistant U.S. attorney f or the Southern district,
and this was a very tough loss, so I don't want you to say anything.
I wouldn't say anything.
I'm gratef ul to him as any good citizen would be.
Organized crime is a scourge that aff ects us all,
and I just thank God he won.
No, wait - he lost.
Casey, I'm serious.
You betcha.
[ Indistinct talking ]
How's the writer's block?
You'r e gonna need to get someone to fix my computer.
What's wrong with it?
It's in several pieces on my floor.
Jeremy: The writer's block that Dan had experienced
that one morning had continued on through the afternoon and into the early evening.
There's nothing that Dan likes more than writing,
so this day was particularly tough on him.
And I want to ask f or your patience and support during this period.
Okay... why did that happen?
Shock therapy.
- Shock therapy. - Leave this to me.
I'm gonna knock the writer's block right outta ya.
By throwing water in my f ace?
By surprising you with the unexpected.
That was step one. Ther e's not gonna be any mor e water.
What's step two?
[ Laughter ]
I thought you said ther e wasn't gonna be any mor e water.
It was surprising and unexpected.
Yes, it was.
Hey, look who's her e.
Hey, Casey.
Hey, Gordon. Listen, Dana told me
you wer e a little down about the verdict in your trial,
so I just wanted you to know I'm not gonna do any jokes.
I'm not going to give you a hard time.
I appr eciate it.
So, this, uh, party at Gracie Mansion -
must be going pr etty late.
Yeah, we'll catch the tail end of it.
Do you think the mayor's gonna chew you out
f or so spectacularly blundering the case?
I don't actually work f or the mayor.
I work f or the U.S. Department of Justice.
And a hell of a year you guys have been having.
You know, Casey...
I won't deny this hasn't been my finest hour,
but ther e's r eally nothing you can say that's gonna rattle me.
I'm just happy to be her e, happy to be talking to you,
happy to be having sex with Dana every night.
You know...
It r eally wasn't my intention
to discuss any Dana-r elated matters.
No, I was just reading this "New York Times" piece
on the f or ensic evidence, the ballistics match,
the eyewitnesses, and the 78 hours worth of wir etaps,
a portion of which included the def endant saying,
"I killed him. I killed him. I killed him dead"...
...And was wondering what the heck a f ella has to do
to get thrown in jail on your watch.
Well, how 'bout I run you through an IRS audit
and we find out?
You got nothing on me, counselor.
I live my lif e clean as my mother's kitchen floor.
Is that your name up on a Monday Night Football office pool?
Yeah.
Ar e you f amiliar with Federal Section Code 4 of the Rico Act?
No.
Then bef or e I decide to subpoena your whole f amily,
why don't you go write your television show
and leave the smarty-boy r emarks to those of us with postgraduate degr ees?
Okay.
- I've got a problem. - What?
Gordon is a mor e f ormidable f oe than I suspected.
Yeah, well, my daughter's dating a Republican.
Whatcha doin'?
Looking f or my talent.
You gotta r elax. It'll pass.
You had to write my script f or me tonight.
You've had to write f or me bef or e.
[ Sighs ] I f eel like somebody put a mojo on me.
l-l-I'm tense, my mind's racing -
like I'm gonna blow apart. I -
Listen, seriously, you need to r elax.
Just take however long you need, sip your coff ee, and r elax.
[ Inhales deeply ] Yeah.
[ Air horn blows ]
Did it work?
Natalie, I don't have the hiccups.
Writer's block doesn't go away just by -
[ Casey laughs ]
Elliott: 10 minutes to air.
Somebody get Dan a towel.
Casey: That's 11 3rd-period goals in 3 games.
And that would be a r ecord ex cept f or what, Dan?
The Montr eal Canadiens.
The Montr eal Canadiens of 1973,
[ Translation ] The Inhabitants.
13 3rd-period goals in 3 games.
You're watching "Sports Night" on CSC, so stick around.
[ Stopwatch beeps ] - We'r e out. - 90 seconds back.
I'm still looking f or the Chyron on two.
- It's on f our. - It's on two.
- It's on f our. - We got a Chyron on two?
Mush-mouse and pumpkin-puss ar e looking f or it.
Guys.
Stay away f rom me.
[ Chuckles ]
On page 66, halfway down in the NFL injury r eport, it says,
"Collins is expected to miss practice this week,
the r esult of a bulging disk."
Yeah?
Ther e's a typo on the TelePromp Ter. They left out the "s."
"Collins is expected to be sidelined
a week to 10 days with a bulging di-" Uh-oh!
Whoa, that's a big 10-4.
My next line in the script was, "Let's go to the videotape."
We might have gotten some phone calls.
Jeremy: You've probably noticed that I haven't said anything
about Natalie Hurley in this letter.
I'm sure you were reading in the papers about the incident in the locker room.
Things have calmed down here considerably since then.
I fell asleep once while making her dinner,
and that's a whole other story, but since that night,
it seems like things have been kind of awkward between us.
It's hard to resist the urge to ask her out,
but I doubt that would do much to lessen the awkwardness.
While I was writing this just now,
something kinda cool happened.
I was sitting here at 1:00 A.M.
when I heard music coming f rom the studio.
[ "Boogie Shoes" plays ]
Casey: What did we come back here for?
9-ball - it's gonna be gr eat.
Gr eta Lipsik and Yoshira Yatsimura?
Throw out your rule book.
[ Drunkenly ] I can't hear it in her e! Crank it!
[ Volume incr eases ]
What's going on?
Lola Falana over her e got us thrown out of the bar.
What, is ther e a law against dancing now? Is that what it's come to?
Of course not.
Chris and Will ar e pumping it in on the monitors.
Ther e's a law against shooting somebody
and dumping the body at Bayside,
but you wouldn't think so to listen to Barney Fif e.
- Come her e. - 'My, my, my, my, my boogie shoes'
'Just to boogie with you'
'Uh-huh, I want to do it till the sun comes up'
'Oh, yeah...'
How ar e ya?
- 'I want to do it' - Good. - Good.
- 'Till I can't get enough' - I'm gonna do something now,
and I don't want it to startle you.
- Ar e you going to throw water at me? - No.
'I want to put on my, my, my, my, my boogie shoes'
'Just to boogie with you'
No big deal.
- 'I want to put on' - Just something we did.
'My, my, my, my, my boogie shoes'
- 'Just to boogie with you' - Stamps.
Jeremy: One last thing -
Dan finally got over his writer's block.
He met Stacy Kerr at The Smoking Dog.
Stacy plays on the women's professional beach volleyball tour.
Turns out Stacy's a big f an of Dan's
and was particularly taken by his writing.
How ar e you able to write that way?
I mean, what goes on in your head?
How did you get that style?
'My, my, my, my, my boogie shoes'
Jeremy: And in that moment, Dan was reminded once again
why he wanted to write in the first place.
It's for the same reason anybody does anything -
to impress women.
Stay out of trouble, Louise.
Love, Jeremy.
- 'My, my, my, my, my boogie shoes' - Oooh!
'Just to boogie with you'
'Yeah, I want to put on my, my, my, my, my boogie shoes'
[ Rock music plays ]